Luna: What inspired you to write that article for Psychology Today? Most people, in their own mind, believe that they're doing the thing that is best for them, and oftentimes, they're not really thinking about the impact that that has on another person. We all know why we do what we do in a way that no one else can ever know that because we have all of our thoughts in our head and all of our reasons lined up for why we make certain choices. Vilhauer: Well, I think that we all engage in a level of self-justification for our behavior. I'm curious, what would cause a self-described honest individual to ghost? In your article Why Ghosting Hurts So Much, you quoted someone who said they consider themselves to be an honest and straightforward person, yet they had ghosted someone. We're happy to have you on the show discussing this very, very important topic. Jennice Vilhauer: Hi, thank you so much for having me.
She's the author of the popular Psychology Today articles, Why Ghosting Hurts So Much and Did The Internet Break Love? She's here to help us understand why people do this and what you should do if you've been ghosted. We're going to get to that soon with our guest today, psychologist Dr. To those of you out there who've done the ghosting and I know you're out there, what's up with you? No shaming here. For those of you who've been ghosted, not only does it shatter your self-esteem, it can also hurt as much as physical pain. Sometimes people are left just hanging without any explanation.
It's a heartbreaking fact in the modern dating world. Your calls go right to her voicemail, and they ignore your DMs. You're constantly texting, sharing photos, sending sappy kiss-face emojis, and then suddenly, he stops answering your texts. The hours you spend together feel like mere minutes. You've been dating this great person for a while now. Kaitlin Luna: Hello and welcome to Speaking of Psychology, a bi-weekly podcast from the American Psychological Association that explores the connections between psychological science and everyday life.